Dear Diary...
Pride
vendredi 27 février 2009

Contrary to popular belief, I am not going to blog about the Preliminary Examinations. LOLS.

Dam proud of you Sec 1 Airguys. Running ten rounds is no easy feat. Keeping yourself in the run is already a feat in itself. Completing the run is another. And pushing your friends on, is the best of what I have seen today.

You guys are a BIG family. No leaving of others behind, like the Ranger's motto goes, "Leave No Man Behind", same applies for you guys. Remember what we've always said, you guys are the elite. Elite school, elite unit. Most importantly, The Elite Part.

The race is not in running the 4km alone and finishing it first, the race is running the 4km with 30 of your brothers, and finishing it together, bathing in the glory together. That is, success. Success should not be enjoyed alone. Like a huge tub of ice cream, tastes best with a group of friends, even brothers.

I was serious about tougher training. LOLs. We took 36 minutes to run 4km today. We will take 30 minutes next training. 30 divided by ten, we have 3 minutes for each lap. Already higher than the mean time for each lap for a 2.4km run. Totally Possible. I see the men in you. I'd hope I see it again. (SO NOT GAY!)

Btw. Anyone of you interested in being road marshals on the x-country day? Since you guys are already doing so much running during training, why not do road marshaling instead of running another 4 clicks again? haha. If you want please call your SM Benedict, or just look for me. :) Oops. you guys' can't help out. haha.

And your drill standards. Honest, you guys are beyond average for your age. It's only your first training!

Ok. Keep it up. :) that's all~

Anyway, prelims sucked.

yongliang


he closed his diary at {20:38}


Dear Diary...
雪中花
mercredi 25 février 2009

雪中花
作词:郭之仪 作曲:郭之仪 女声:孙淑媚 编曲:丘旺苍

(女)爱好亲像过客
(男)情好亲像冬雪
(女)一场风雨的经过 将你咱绑作伙
(男)无论风块吹 云块飞 情爱像梅花
男)天愈冷
(女)心愈撑
(合)感情愈坚定

(男)爱可比雪中花
(女)若是打袂开心内的谜题
(合)情爱真真假假 有魂无体
(女)雪嘛呒讲话
(男)花嘛无声无说
(男)情可比云中月
(男)若是打袂开心内的谜题
(合)情爱欢欢喜喜永远作伙
(男)云嘛真厚话
(女)月嘛听归暝

(男)阿~天愈冷
(女)心愈坚定
(合)恩爱过一生


雪中花 Xue Zhong Hua (Hokkien) - 孙淑媚 Sun Shu Mei duet 王识贤 Wang Shi Xian

We should constantly expose ourselves to foreign culture (not that foreign actually. connected quite closely to our roots).

Anyway, just posting this song for fun. Quite meaningful the lyrics. Now that I'm done. I am off to do E math practices.

yongliang

I don't understand why I am unable to do as well as others. Honestly, I believe that I put in as much, if not more effort than others (although I am incomparable to Wei Yi). But somehow, I am never able to do as well as them, no matter how much I wish, or how hard I work. This fight is getting tiring and futile. The only thing holding me together is, hope.


he closed his diary at {16:36}


Dear Diary...
Burnout
mardi 24 février 2009

I just broke something. Broke a chime. But I repaired it. Was supposed to throw a stress ball at a wall but It hit the chime and it came crashing down. I think I am experiencing mental burnout sooner than I thought. Thought I'd get it when it came to prelim 2 or 3. Increasingly unable to control one's emotions. That's bad.

Let me pull through Prelim 1. But nothing is sticking to my head. I''d think i might just flunk Geog and Physics tml. Bad.

Must think happy stuff. Let's see what makes me happy.
Yellow :)
Soft Toys. (I'll go hug teddy later)
Erm erm erm. Ok I dunno what else. I think I am a very sad person :(
Blah go shop la. lol. But no money and so late alr.

Talking bout late, I am still here blogging. Die alr la. tml exam. NOTHING IS STICKING! Damn. I think I feel like Charlie Gordon. read so much, mug so hard, nothing sticks. But i believe that intelligence cannot be interpreted by mere numbers! Work harder.

OK, That makes me happy. being hopeful makes me happy. :) I might. just might, I just might do well. But looking at the current situation now, probability is low.


Gor always tell me relax. But with teachers like Mr Leong breathing down your neck everyday, it is not possible for one to slacken. Unless he has the ability to withstand the scorn of his. I obviously do not possess such ability. So I can only be driven further to slog. Problem is, it's not working. :( And there's cruel reality. There are 6 pointers EVERYWHERE! If I want to go where I want to go, only way is is to beat all those 6 pointers. And that's. difficult. All the more I cannot risk resting for a moment now and regretting when December comes. And all the more I cannot risk blogging further, lest I am unable to concentrate on tml's paper.

Kept sane by insanity.
yongliang



he closed his diary at {22:49}


Dear Diary...
tml die

Today's papers were fairly easy but...NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!

I left out 6 marks worth of chem questions!!! lose 6 more marks i will lose even an A2! :(

SS was ok...I needed time to think...:/ bad. Knew it couldn't stick that well. So eventually when I decided how my essay should look like, time has been wasted. So in the end, didn't get to fully develop my essay, so I wouldn't get a full marks essay. :( DAMN. Sucks la. And I thought I could do well this term. :( So I think my SS is quite screwed up :( I knew the stuff, but couldn't pen them down.

Tomorrow is Physics and Geog. 我没有什么抱握.

Physics has been my weakest link since last year. But this year I 发愤图强, so hopefully I can do well la. I've been working hard on it lor. Hope I see the results soon. Will continue working harder. :)

Geog. Damn. It's like a subject I know, yet I don't know that well. My practice only Level 1 3 marks. I was like. OMG. Die alr. I thought I did it right, in the end only level 1/3 marks :(
And like SS, what I've been reading doesn't seem to be sticking. So I am quite worried for tml.
At this point of time, I have half an hour before ten. Must mug Physics le. I spent less than 5 minutes on this blog post.

yongliang.

die die die.


he closed his diary at {21:17}


Dear Diary...
Should Have Known
lundi 23 février 2009




You Are Fearless



You have great dreams and unrelenting ambition. You go for what you want, and it's hard to deter you.

You are incredibly competent and intelligent. You've had a very high success rate in your life.



You tend to dominate people. You have a very strong personality, and others tend to heed to your demands.

You're confident enough to be considered arrogant. You tend to think of other people in terms of what they can do for you.

Are You Flirtatious, Fearless, Factual, or Friendly?

Knew it. AMBITIOUS. AGAIN. nice ass.


he closed his diary at {22:35}


Dear Diary...
I'm quite prepared

I cannot believe this is coming from me. But I am fairly well prepared for tml's papers. I have been studying my SS for 4 days, scrutinising the notes and making analysis and certain extents of research. So I should be fine in handling the 2 essay questions. But I have 2 worries.

1. Somehow what I have been studying for SS isn't sticking in my head. It is like I can't summon the information as and when I wish, so I can't regurgitate what i studied now. But I think I would be able to when I see the question. I think need some external stimulus to activate my subconscious, so I can 'access' my 'SS notes'.

2. Time. 45 minutes for 2 essay. Incredible Stamina. Untidy handwriting. And my sweaty palms. X( lols. Die alr. Must chiong like crazy.

Now for Chem. Prepared for it by doing 3 mock papers. A CHIJ Chem paper, a CHS Chem paper and a ACS Chem paper. So I think i have been exposed to a significant amount of questions alr. So hopefully I dun get stumped by anything tml.

All in all, I think I have put in an incredible amount of effort in this term's Prelims. So I really hope I do really well cos it would be the best motivation for me to work harder for the next few examinations and the Big Os.

I think I just might do well...haha.

Hi. I'm a mugger. :) And I enjoy mugging.

yongliang.


he closed his diary at {22:22}


Dear Diary...
Fedoras

I want a Fedora!!



Ok. Back to mug.


he closed his diary at {16:53}


Dear Diary...
I forgot...
dimanche 22 février 2009

Damn. I forgot what i wanted to blog about. be back when I remember.

yongliang


he closed his diary at {18:27}


Dear Diary...
Ouch. the pain
samedi 21 février 2009

Pain! My braces were extended today. So the dentist has added a bracket each for the 2 rear molars of my lower rack. To put it simply, I have 2 new brackets and they are hurting my molars, so I couldn't chew and enjoy my steamboat just now. Damn.

And to add on to the pain , I am still damn mad at myself. I dunno why. Just mad at myself. I dam weird. Maybe I am mad because I don't seem to be absorbing my SS revision. So that sucks. I have been redoing it over and over again already. Ok, Imma revise everything again. Goodbye now.

yongliang

Flowers for Algernon is a damn good read. Looks like it has one new supporter. you know who you are!


he closed his diary at {22:09}


Dear Diary...
i'm going insane
vendredi 20 février 2009

i think.

Is yelling, scolding and hitting yourself considered going insane...

Don't know why luh, but I've been pretty crazy the past week. Last Saturday I woke up with a temper and I was like hitting myself, because a part of me wanted to go for remedials, the other part of me didn't want to go. I was just like splitting up luh.

Then last evening I was damn upset with myself regarding HBL and homework and I was like yelling at myself in the bathroom. Oh ya, pulling my hair too. :/

Then last night I just kept squirming about in bed, pulling at my hair and hitting my skull. For no apparent reason I think.

I think I'm cracking. Someone help me.

What's going on with me!

Think I'm insane yet?

yongliang

fuck school. i hate you.


he closed his diary at {22:38}


Dear Diary...
Home based learning sucks.
jeudi 19 février 2009

Totally sucks la. Formal school would have been better. Damn. Why must study at home, so unrealistic also. where got one whole day, from 8 - 4 all the periods do homework de? It's crazy luh. Even on normal schooldays, most periods are used for teaching, not to do homework straight for 8 hours in a row. It's insanity. And then the math department is crazier still, 2 mock papers. It's impossible to finish it in 50 minutes. So it is quite obvious that they want us to complete it as 'homework'. Which is totally crazy and unreasonable. After 8 hours straight of doing homework, you still want to give extra homework, a 2 hour mock paper? Crazy.

Worst still, some technical problems forced me to redo my online assignments. Complete waste of time and effort. The day could have been better spent at school asking questions and preparing for Prelim 1, instead of wasting time and effort at home, with a helpdesk which is completely useless and obsolete. I sent at least 8 messages today and I only received 3 responses, and none of them helped my situation. Define useless.

And I had tuition at 7.30 So today was a really tiring day. Luckily i managed to squeeze in some reading time for English, so i can prepare for tml's English paper. Look through the possible one word essays and though through my options, observed the formats of different forms of letter writing. If they all stick in my head, I should be fine tomorrow.

I found Charly, the 1968 movie adaptation of the Novel Flowers For Algernon. Pity they didn't stick as close to the original novel as I wanted it too. I heard there's a year 2000 movie on Flowers for Algernon, which is much more accurate and sticks more closely to the original novel, pity I couldn't find it.

Working Links to Charly. 10 parts. Enjoy the movie. Do not neglect your studies though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__F7F2E6TSE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6hXBCahxrg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul_5KacN_b4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsNab1IARQc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHgomHPQXNo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptF06AEuDm0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OveaA4l2KPw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNKc0oyZ1No
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrITowvTqO4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICPkFz93-uc

HBL sucks. And there's still unfinished math homework I do not intend to do yet.

yongliang.


he closed his diary at {22:31}


Dear Diary...
Flowers for Algernon. Charlie too.
mercredi 18 février 2009

I finished the novel version of Flowers for Algernon already. Talk bout speed reading. 311 page novel finished in less than 3 hours. :D

Ok enough of the speed reading. The real reason for the post is about the very personal and relative feel to the plot. You can relate to it, really well. It's like Charlie Gordon telling the story. It's a diary, and you're reading it. Epistolary writing style.

Spoiler alert from now on....

The book has some sexuality in it, so it's not exactly PG-13, but I'd expect readers to be mature enough to handle sexuality.

It was particularly saddening when Algernon died, it was like the precursor to Charlie's death. It was a form of an omen. But it was quite amazing (as in the book). Religion played a part in the book also. God. Several scenes of Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge. If God wanted Charlie to be retarded, no one should alter it, even if you alter it, it will not be permanent. Dr Nemur and Dr Strauss were playing God.

But Charlie was an innocent party, and that was probably why he didn't die. (the book didn't say he died, so i assumed he didn't die by the end of the story). And something amazing. I would have expected Charlie to lose his intelligence and return to the old Charlie Gordon. But the amazing thing is, he had memory of the past. He could remember trying his best to become smarter. He remembered what it meant to pull a Charlie Gordon. He remembered attending Miss Kinnian's class previously. He remembered having the surgery. My opinion is, that's the least God can give to Charlie, or can leave for Charlie. He left Charlie something he wanted. Some knowledge, or some intelligence. Charlie wanted to grab hold to some part of his past, during his short term as an intelligent person. God gave him just that. Charlie remembered being smart. Charlie had some memory. (which might mean that the surgery on Charlie was actually improved, compared to the surgery on Algernon)

Charlie to me was a very humane person. Ask yourselves, how many times in you life you have laughed at someone, or joked at the expense of someone. Countless. Have you ever felt guilty? Maybe not. To you, to us, it is not our fault that he's stupid. But then think again, is it his fault that he's stupid? No. So what right have we to laugh at him? This point was well brought up by the author in the story, when he wrote the part where Charlie met a retarded young boy who worked in a restaurant. He was laughed at by the customers when he broke a few plates. Charlie at first joined in the laughter. However, he later realised what he was doing was incorrect morally. He had no right to laugh at the boy. The other customers had no right either. He was a poor child with low intelligence. Instead of offering help, you laugh at him? Is that moral? Is that the way a more 'intelligent' person should act. Does intelligence give you the right to be pompous, arrogant, proud, and care less of others?

And I liked this part about the scene in Warren State Home.
The caretaker pointed at a milk bottle and asked Charlie. How many psychologists do you think would have the courage, the compassion to carry, a grown man in his arms, and feed him with the milk bottle, and risk getting defecated or excreted on by the man in his arms. It takes courage. This sheds some light on how we nowadays lack compassion. Do you feel for the handicapped man playing the harmonica in the underpass? Probably not. To you, he's just another busker.

A few quotes from the novel.

Even a feeble-minded man wants to be like other men.
A child may not know how to feed itself, or what to eat, yet it knows hunger.

How many times have you wished that you were someone else? Everyone has an ideal set in his mind. He wants to be that ideal, but he cannot. It's something we cannot control, something we cannot do. But it's a desire, even the most feeble-minded possess.

At less that a month, a child knows what is hunger. He might not know how to feed himself, or what to eat, but he knows he needs food. He knows the pain of feeling hungry. He wants to eat. It is again a desire. It's a metaphor, for the hunger for knowledge. Who doesn't want to become smarter?

And there's this character in the story called Doctor Guarino. He's kind of a quack doctor who swindles Charlie's mother (who later abandoned him) and dad, saying that he can make Charlie smarter. Although Guarino was a swindler, he was nice to Charlie, not even scolding him when Charlie let loose on Guarino's examination bed. I guess the author was trying to say that there's always kindness and compassion in everyone, despite their background or what they do. Everyone has a kind side, it's like 2 faces of a coin.

Another scene from Warren State Home.
There's this workshop in Warren State Home. That day Charlie went to visit, the retardates were building lamps. The deaf mutes at one corner continued varnishing the wood, with that kind of immense concentration, and that kind of desire, to be wanted, to be wanted by society. Another kind of metaphor. Everyone, including the most stupid of people, even those whom we think are incapable of thinking, wants to be wanted. No one can stand complete solitude, complete loneliness. Everyone needs to be able to give, and receive affection (as mentioned in another portion of the book), to survive. If one is unable to do just that, he is not a person. He will not feel like a person, he will lose meaning in life. Life, is about loving each other.

And the part i loved the most. The part where I realised what 难得糊涂 and Ignorance is Bliss really meant. In the beginning of the story, when Charlie was still retarded, he felt that he had friends, even though they were laughing and mocking him (and he didn't know it). At least, he felt he have friends. He felt he was receiving affection. But when he became a genius after the surgery, everyone started to shun him. But there always were people who stood by him. I believe the author is trying to say that even when everyone walks out the door, there'd be somebody who'd walk right in and say, I'd stick with you. That's how He made it to be. Then when he became stupid again, he gained friends. Real friends. They know him better. He means no harm. He just wants to be wanted. If the entire society knows that everyone else just wants to be wanted, he just wants to be part of It, part of the society, part of life. He just wants to be inside, and not locked outside. Only then, our world can be ideal. We will have people caring for one another. We need to know each other.

Yah. So I really love this story a lot. There are sexual scenes in the story. Charlie and the 5 month pregnant woman, Charlie and Fay, Charlie and Miss Kinnian. I will not risk analysing these parts of the story as i do not want my blogger account to get locked up due to some non-PG-13 content. But it carries quite a bulk of the plot of the story. Charlie struggling with sexuality, trying to know that making love, is not exactly a dirty thing. And in the attempt of trying to tell himself, or actually his other self that, he does dirty things, which he became ashamed of.

Basically I've kind of identified some underlying motifs of the story.
1. Everyone wants to be wanted.
2. A bit of sympathy can go a long way.
3. No one can survive loneliness.
4. Do not play God.
5. Karma?
6. One has to give and receive affection in order to live.
7. There'd be always someone that would root for you.
8. NO ONE IS PERFECT.

There'd be more, but those are what I saw.

My own proverb. Although intelligence can be given, emotions and thoughts can only be developed.

That's the reason why Charlie had the brains of a genius, but the emotions of a kid, thus unable to control his desires.

I was quite sad when I finished the book. I wanted more. It's a really beautiful yet sad yet moving story.

Imagine yourself stupid, then becoming smart, and then you suddenly knew you would have to become stupid again, there's no way to stop it. It's got to be an awful feeling. You know you had succeeded before, you had done it before, but this time you somehow fail, you feel angry. That was how Algernon felt in the maze. He suddenly became stupid again. He knew he once was able to do the maze. But now he cannot. He feels lost.

But I am truly touched by Charlie's motivation. It's true. That kind of motivation, is a kind that even those who have the IQ above 100 might not have. It's all in the mind, even if you have a stupid one. Sounds oxymoronic, but think about it. Motivation is in your mind. Even if you have and IQ of 68, you still can have motivation. It is only a question of whether you want to have it or not. And most of the times, we give up on ourselves and say we don't want it.

yongliang

We all need affection. I say need affection, as in the need to give, and receive, affection.


he closed his diary at {22:24}


Dear Diary...
yay! Flowers for algernon NOVEL!


Yay I got it :)
My mum managed to borrow it for me form the library :D
Yay. The novel is fairly different from the edited short story version. I think the school one not nice. haha. Charlie Gordon didn't work in a bakery lor in the school version. But in the actual version he was supposed to work in a bakery. haha. :)

Off to read. It's a really nice book.

yongliang :D


he closed his diary at {18:37}


Dear Diary...
February Bdae Celebration.

Today is Wednesday! haha. So we had our birthday celebration thingy today haha!

FEBRUARY BABIES! ZD is included. Nobel not included. lol

Look at the partay~! haha.

DURIAN CAKE :D The 2 small cakes are mango cakes meant for prefects who do not wish to have durian. haha. :D

Excos had to pay extra 2 dollars each to buy that luh. And then Wei Lun and I had so little cake :( 吃亏. lols

And some not so nice thing happened during recess. we had some PSG mothers who came to the Secondary School Canteen to scold/lecture/chide the students who did not return their plates to their respective receptacles and urge them to.

Then in the end so many students came to me to say that the idea was stupid. I was like,"It's not my idea!" :( Kena blame for nothing. Neh mind lor! But worst is some ppl say that we can stop doing duty le, got parents do. Which is quite...true lor.

Why? The parents doing our duty is like a damned slap in our faces. We can't do our duties ourselves we need other persons to intervene, which is quite embarrassing. But it's true. We not doing our duties well. Prefects ah..prefects...

Please, don't stand in the queue when duty is not even done yet! It happens everyday during recess. There's no need to hurry. It gets quite frustrating, when Wesley, Jason and I are still stoning at the staircase and you guys are already queueing up for food, and there are still people in the canteen. Very infuriating.

The PCs (not personal computers), are not entirely hopeless, but there's room for improvement.

Physics test after school! OMG luh. Didn't get to study for it. Was very last minute. 40 MCQ questions, only got 62.5% :(. A lot of errors that could have been prevented because those were purely theory, no calculation involved kind of questions. Den there's this thermal properties question that was entirely hopeless. I memorised the way to do that kind of question already, cos Warren Lao ba always go through with me (ty sir war), but right... I WAS CARELESS! Didn't see that stupid unit. Should have converted it into Kg. AHHHHH. Damn stupid. Could have got that one correct. :(

Must mug harder.

yongliang

PS: i think it has become my daily ritual to blog before doing homework. haha. I think it's quite a good way to destress before setting off to do homework, cos you can do your work with a more peaceful mind. That explains how I got full marks for my SS essay practice :D 13/13 Sorry la, I just have to say it once here lol. Cos i am like very proud of myself :D Especially my conclusion. :D Hope i can achieve that in Prelim 1, Prelim 2, Prelim 3, and in the BIG Os!


he closed his diary at {16:41}


Dear Diary...
Resistance band :D
mardi 17 février 2009

yay. I got my very own resistance band :D Hope it can help workouts :D 事倍功半!!! Half the effort for double the result :D

Gym in my pocket :D

yongliang


he closed his diary at {21:23}


Dear Diary...
Crazed
lundi 16 février 2009

I wanna do that luh!

Eh Gary 2nd Dan blackbelt, teach me leh. LOL.
I think Krav Maga is cool also. A lot of instinct and more killer instinct. haha. Makes you feel like a ninja!

That's dam zai. He lock his opponents wrist in a uncomfortable position. His opponent's right arm tries to make him release his wrist, while he elbows the guy. OMG LUH! (i know i am talking incoherently)

I actually intended to pick up Krav Maga or MMA after Os to keep fit in a fun way, bu the cost blew me away luh. Maybe Stamford gor gor can teach me. LOLs!

OK, away from martial arts, because when all else fails there's always...

The Honorable MACHINE GUN. Muahahahaha Minigun madness :D
After all I am THE shooter, master of all firearms :D hahahahaha. there's no need for hand-to-hand combat. :)

For some reason I think I've got some affinity with rifles. Every M-16 I tried never actually failed me, even when it's zero-ing is terribly off, I still can manage a decent score, often better than those who's got a perfectly-zeroed weapon (eat that!) :D.

Too bad Singapore no guns, otherwise I'd love to be a gun shop owner or a shooting instructor. In the US, any person who purchases a firearm is required to go for some proficiency lessons and a test. I'd be happy to conduct lessons. haha. :)

That's why I wanna join NJC Air Rifle! But I am not sure if I have affinity with Air Rifles. LOLs. I'd see if I shoot well during the Initiation Camp. haha. I've got a title to defend. (lols).

Ok, enough of all these :S I think I am getting boastful. (but i love shooting a lot. It's like damn fun. I wanna join National Shooting Squad!



OK. SERIOUS NOW! lol.

Today was a crazy day. Spent the whole day worrying about Bio SPA. Damn scary. OMG luh. Yah and i screwed up la. I think my values wrong! :( And i had a stomachache in the middle of the experiment. LOL. But I managed to keep it in until the end of English remedial, which meant i held on for about 3 hours? LOLs. Crazy guy.

The English Compre homework was crazy also! Passage B was insane. Very difficult. I think my summary was crap also la. The compre this time was very...difficult. The use of English was very confusing, I had problems trying to understand the structure, let alone the meaning, and the underlying meaning/motif.

The geometry worksheet also very hard! Sian la, I hate proving. It's like you know it, but you don't know how to put it down. Which is very depressing and INFURIATING!

Now I feel sian. I feel like doing revision, but I feel like procrastinating for a while. Argh. What to do. Damn. I'm stressed.

yongliang




he closed his diary at {20:09}


Dear Diary...
BIO SPA

Sian I think I screwed up. I think my B concentration is off range. And i think my values are also inaccurate. Although my graph took up 6 squares horizontally, I scared too small :(

Die le la! No more 2/2 already I think.

yongliang


he closed his diary at {16:41}


Dear Diary...
Blahs~
dimanche 15 février 2009

I need these songs!

Clockwatching - Jason Mraz
Mr Curiosity - Jason Mraz
Rocketman - Jason Mraz
Absolutely Zero - Jason Mraz

My fridge left today. We moved him out to the bulky refuse downstairs. Shorty after I went up back home, I could hear the sound of some people clumsily moving something bulky and heavy. I knew it was my fridge. Goodbye Sanyo :( I'd miss you.

It pains me to see him with trash.

Last look at his handsome face. Bye.

Went for tuition afterwards. On my way back bought something really expensive. Come back on 22nd February to find out what. haha. I also went to converse to look for shoes.

I WANT THIS FOR SCHOOL! I wonder if they've got Yellow.

On my way back I somehow recalled Limau Limau Cafe in Malacca. It's a damn cool place luh. Hope can go there with some friends after Os for fun haha. FOURoNer's outing to Malacca? That'd be cool. lol.

Go there with me? haha

:D nice shop ya?

I'd love to go there again. Bio SPA tml. Very nervous. Hope i can get 2/2. I need my A1. Otherwise my NJ dreams will be gone with the wind. :( Goodbye now.

yongliang


he closed his diary at {21:07}


Dear Diary...
Think he's not gonna make it.
samedi 14 février 2009

It's my fridge. The old Sanyo one. I think he's giving up on himself. :( Although he still blows air, its not cold anymore. The compartments all feel like they're at room temperature, even the freezer. Very saddening :( He wouldn't even have the chance to get donated somewhere or sold second-hand. He's headed for the scrapyard. And that makes me sad. Really. :(

Remember those days i had the multiplication tables, up to 12 magnet-ed on the fridge face. I had plenty of magnets. There's a tomato, a chilli, a magnetic whiteboard, a pastamania magnet, an eggplant (brinjal), a mango, a bunch of bananas, a Bishan NPC magnet and many more.

He's such a major part of my life that it pains me to see him die like that and imagine him getting squashed at the scrapyard and rotting. It's just. disgusting. and, painful. and whatever.

OK LingKang, maybe you're right. I'm sentimental. After all, this fridge is a major part of my childhood. :( Pains me to see him die and get moved away. It's like taking a part of my life away from me and I'd never get to see it again. :(

I thought might handwriting changed slightly, so i decided to take the test again.

This personality profile is based on the writing of Yong Liang Mun created at the website: Handwriting Wizard.com - Handwriting University's Official automated personality report creator based on standardized basic personality traits as taught through Handwriting University's Certification Level Program.

Yong Liang uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually inexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Yong Liang does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Yong Liang will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Yong Liang is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?" - Still the same as before...

Yong Liang tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Yong Liang writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Yong Liang will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says "he didn't hear you", he really means, he didn't hear you. - I think my writing is even smaller now. It's subconscious.

Yong Liang will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Yong Liang believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride. - Hoho. true. ego.

Yong Liang will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it! - Same as before.

Yong Liang has a desire for attention. People around Yong Liang will notice this need. He may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on his own character. - Still as attention seeking as before. lol

In reference to Yong Liang's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Yong Liang slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Yong Liang can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip. - here's the change. Variated humps. When i write slightly slower, the have a nice curve to it. Slightly quicker, it becomes pointy. Depends on mood, and stress level. I see the pointy one more often now.

Yong Liang is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Yong Liang basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average. - Same...

Yong Liang is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time. - I don't think i am very sacarstic, i'm not even good at it.

Yong Liang is very self-sufficient. He is trying not to need anyone. He is capable of making it on his own. He probably wants and enjoys people, but he doesn't "need" them. He can be a loner. - Still the same.

Yong Liang is having a lack of physical energy at the time this handwriting was written. If someone has very short and straight down lower loops (like in the y or g), this indicates this person's physical drive (activity or sex) is compromised. Usually, this indicates the person simply isn't interested in getting too physical right now. This could be a temporary mood which often happens when the body is sick and is healing. Or, this could be a result of an emotional or physical issue that is effecting Yong Liang 's energy level and interest in sex. Sex doesn't seem to be a priority at the moment. - At the moment. I feel very drained.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Yong Liang has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Yong Liang fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Yong Liang has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Yong Liang seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Yong Liang seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin. - Still the same. I still don't know what unhealthy relationship i have with the past. Is it my fridge?

I think this analysis is very true lor. Sounds like me. although the small handwriting part is a bit wrong. I am not good at math and science. But I am introverted and don't like talking to people face to face. even more for people I don't know well. I don't even like to talk to them on MSN. The small groups part is very true haha.

Ok. So not much change :S LOL. I think I wanna do a full length handwriting analysis. It'd be cool to know myself better.

yongliang



he closed his diary at {21:32}


Dear Diary...
Yay!

The fridge isn't gone yet :D
My dad's in A&E cos he's got fish bones stuck in his throat since last night. Like.. LOL. Hope they get it out. I wonder if they take bones out with tweezers or something.

yongliang


he closed his diary at {12:45}


Dear Diary...
Only Human
vendredi 13 février 2009

:( Sobs. The fridge would be sold away tomorrow. Gave it 1 last hug already. As soon as I arrive home tomorrow after remedials, it'd be gone. :(

I feel sad, because I'm Only Human.

The EXCOs got me Pandas from China. :/ Lols.

Panda Hat. haha.

Cute Panda Plushie. Haha

I feel touched, because I'm Only Human.


Jason Mraz
Only Human

A squirrel in the tree is he watching me
Does he give a damn?
Does he care who I am?
I’m just a man, is that all I am
Are my manners misinterpreted words or ONLY HUMAN?
I’m human

Murderous crow, hey what you know
What you reading about, what you hold in your toes
Is that a twig, are you a dove of peace
A black dove undercover, with another puzzle piece
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all

Only human
Made of flesh, made of sand, made of human
The planet’s talking about a revolution
The natural laws ain’t got no constitution
They’ve got a right to live their own life
But we keep paving over paradise

‘Cause we’re ONLY HUMAN
Yes we are, ONLY HUMAN
If it’s our only excuse do you think we’ll keep on being only human
Yes we are, yes we are
ONLY HUMAN, ONLY HUMAN, ONLY HUMAN
So far…

Up in the major’s tree, the one he planted back when he was just a boy
Thinking 1923
Thirty meters and a foot, take a look, take a climb
What you’ll find is the product of a seed
The seed is sown, all alone
It grows above, with a heart of love
Sharp and shelter of the animals of land and cold weather breathing
We’re all breathing in

The planet’s talking about a revolution
The natural laws ain’t got no constitution
They’ve got a right to live their own life
But we keep paving over paradise

‘Cause we’re ONLY HUMAN
Yes we are, ONLY HUMAN
If it’s our only excuse do you think we’ll keep on being ONLY HUMAN
Yes we are, ONLY HUMAN, ONLY HUMAN, so far, so far

And this place it will outlive me
Before I get to heaven I’ll climb that tree
And I will have to give my thanks
For giving me the branch to swing on
If I ever fall in love
I’ll have to give myself a baby
I will let my children have their way

‘Cause we’re only human, yes we are
ONLY HUMAN, so far, so far


Only Human - Jason Mraz

yongliang

sec 1s haven't any discipline
and. boo. the only dates I have tml are with my Chinese teacher, math teacher, and math tuition teacher. How exciting.


he closed his diary at {23:10}


Dear Diary...
Sucks.
jeudi 12 février 2009

Should have expected it of myself. Wth la. Study still fail. Fail physics, fail math and I think I will fail today's mock SPA test. Total Screw Up. TSU.

Physics 14/40, didn't even get to do last 2 questions. Who ask me, come back class so late. Idiot. sucker.

Math.. And I thought I handled it quite well. Keyword is 'thought'. 12/35 Total failure. My trigo sucks. I only like shapes. Practise so much still fail. Depressing. Must practise more lor.

Physics SPA. I wasted 4o-50 minutes of the given 1 hour, doing the experiment wrongly. Idiot, don't even know how to swing a pendulum bob correctly. In the end last 10 minutes figured it out and swing. And the stupid bob make it difficult for me. Super random periods. So, i guess I'll fail. Since when Earth's G is 1.9? Fail already.

Argh. What should I do? My week is packed with tuition lessons already. bulk of my time is spent at remedials and on homework (I need a lot of time to clear my homework because I am a very slow [dull] person). Little, or more like no time is left for revision. To do revision for a test means forgoing sleep, and I've already done that...but still not working. :(

What's going on.

yongliang

I should have known that trying harder means falling harder. I'm only human, I can't fly.


he closed his diary at {21:28}


Dear Diary...
Learning Journey
mercredi 11 février 2009

Today is the annual learning journey again. It's our last :( Not exactly boring, but not very fun also. haha. So, we just went to SAFTI and Singapore Discovery Centre. That's about all. Let the pictures do the talking.


That's the Personnel Decontamination Vehicle in the background. :)

Lols, Guanhua and some other people playing SCDF board game. Very exciting, really.

See that station there? There's some lame game there WeiXuan and I played. haha :)
Amazing photo-manipulation. 1/2 Singapore Flyer X 4 = 2 Hearts :)

Somehow I just like this picture. haha :)

More Hearts!

I like the effect this picture gives. Somehow Wei Xuan seems connected with the Honour the Past punchline on the banner. haha

woohoo.
ARMY MUSEUM.

Gold sculpture.

Very enthusiastic guide. lols

That wall is made of tanks. No kidding

Gosh. is that me. :( fugly.

Roy and his ghastly face. lols

:) self-explanatory

READ!

Hi Timothy. Wait. Is that seat hanging upside down?

Yeah, it sure is.

Documents....
BADGES! Wei Kit loves 'em.

Temasek Green Uniform!

More documents...

Recording of Mr Lee Kuan Yew speaking

Rawrrr. I like the lion.













Exhibits...

BMT Bunk!




Coat of Arms of the Various Divisions.


I like this knife given by South Africa. :) Very sleek. Nice colour. Seriously.

More walls made of tanks. lols

That's a howitzer.
That's a howitzer too. That's the same head.

That's a lightweight tank. Let's not talk about the heads...

Hi Helo!

Couldn't get the entire helo in 1 picture. lols

OCS BUNKS!

Some tower thingy.

Nice. how awe-inspiring

Hi Roy. I think we've seen enough of you. LOL And that's YH in the background.

That's Roy's fingers.

Yay! I'm taller than Roy! My braces don't allow me to smile properly :(

Wei Xuan and his emo look.

Parade Square at SAFTI

Bleah. Parade Square. AGAIN.


Hi Wei Xuan. Considering the jump? yeah, it's high enough. But it's gonna be messy.

Haha. Dun wanna jump now eh. See that smile on your face. See hope in life now?



ANTS.

Group Photo! (w/o me) Left To Right: Front Row: Kenneth Tay, Lewis, Wei Xuan
Back: Yong Hwee, Kenneth Ong, Samuel, Timothy, Toon Yang

Again...
Group photo! Left to right: Me, Wei Xuan, Samuel, Kenneth, Lewis, Yong Hwee
After taking this picture, I honestly think my right side is my better side. lols

COLOURS! *SALUTES*

Kenneth Low. I pity you. lols.


I pity myself. Actually I didn't know what tim was doing. But somehow I made that face. HAHA!
Shoe Star! Clockwise from bottom, Me, Roy, Wei Xian, Tim, Wei Xuan.

Finger Star. LOLS Clockwise from bottom, ME, Roy and Wei Yi

Class Photo! That's the Officer's Creed behind us.

Class Photo II

INFORMAL! HAHA

Wei Xuan emo-ing again...

He's starting to regret not jumping...

Oh. He found new hope in life again.

Neat stone.

That's how it looks from the front.

Bye Tower!

Very heavy lunch hoho.

For You! (you know who you are!) haha. Sorry la, dun have tom yum! haha

Look at the price....:S

KANGAROO! WEI KIT THAT'S YOU! War Kangaroo. WK. Get it? lols. Ok la, that looks more like Wei Kit's wife, Mother kangaroo, and his kid, Joey. LOL

CHEERS! alIeN frINge :/ :(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

LOLS! That's about all. haha. Something very funny happened in the Gift shop luh. There was this foldable calculator. When you click the button, it will automatically unfold itself. So we were playing with it as if it was a James Bond cool gadget handphone. haha. then we started using stylish flicks. LOLS!

Then...Roy decided to try and.... *in slow mo* As he clicks the button, he flicks the calculator downwards...then....a sweat drop suddenly came between the contact between his palm and the calculator, and then...the calculator slides downwards...then Roy Goh opens his mouth real big (Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~)..then the calculator drops on the floor and breaks. LOLS.

Samuel call Roy to hide it. LOL. As a role model, I advised Roy Goh to go 'turn himself in' at the counter. ( :D ) Luckily he didn't have to pay for it, cos it's just a display set. :D See. honesty is the best policy :)

After school today went to HQ with the Part A specs and Gary to colelct my sec 1's uniforms. LOLs. Dam ma fan la. LOL.

Had a lot of fun on the bus arguing with Brandon and Gary that we should drop off at the front porch instead of the gernal office. Then later on, Mrs Chua also supported my group's (Ernest, Ting Wei and I) logic. Thus we won Mrs Chua's winning vote and we dropped off at the front porch :) Which later proved to be theright decision. Cos there were lots of stuff, and they were fairly heavy. It would be a difficult job if we had to tackle the stairs haha. :)

I love trolley rides!. LOL.

The Air Store is booby trapped. Beware. Seriously. And a lot of cartons also. Warning: Watch your step when you enter the airstore.

and I was told to broadcast.... CHS NCC AIR IS THE NATION'S SECOND BEST NCC AIR UNIT! TRAILING BEHIND ACS(I)! (at least we beat them in shooting :D, and fine HY, you played a part. LOL)

yongliang


he closed his diary at {19:20}



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