Dear Diary...
Emotions.
mercredi 26 mars 2008
He said to me to just try my best, and it will all be fine.I told him wun try, i wud DO my best.And i did.enough of sacrifices,we are supposed to sacrifice,but how much?2 years of being a subordinate.this year finally my turn to have a go at being a NCO.and what do i get? disrespect from my part.I gave them a 3 minutes water break, and told dem to hydrate themselves.and someone said 3 minutes is not enough to hydrate themselves.What can i do?Nothing. We are of the same rank.And there was another, showing bad attitude throughout the whole training.What can i do to him?Nothing either.They talk back to me, what can i do?Nothing.After giving solutions for all sorts of problems to all sorts of people all these years, i, myself am stumped with this problem. And there is no one to help me. Who i deemed as my friends can only give me 1 word answers in a conversation. What happened to the friends i thought i had. Where were all the solutions i can think of in a split second? i dunno. I really do not know. He told me to try my bestI DID my best.Only to be now disrespected by ppl of the same age as me.I always thought i would be looked up at by people in this CCA.And i end up being, disrespected, ignored. I promised to give in my best by today.I did. But what did i get?I'm sure u know.
he closed his diary at {20:43}
Dear Diary...
TML.
mardi 25 mars 2008
Tml i will be taking the Part Cs.I have less den 1 day left to whine about my disappointment as promised.Will i meet the deadline?i dunno.cos i still feel de disappointment pretty deeply.but as promised.i will not let it affect my performances.and i will make sure i stop whining tml.because i promised it.because i am known to perform miracles.because i believe in myself.because i vow to make ppl eat their bad comments about me.and lastly, i am just not the same.Why dun ppl see the disappointment in me?why is it that i console friends,but friends dun console me?as i said,i am just, not the same.
he closed his diary at {16:01}
Dear Diary...
Fighting a losing war
samedi 22 mars 2008
The first year of the war with no resistance.The second year with much effort.The last, the preparation for defeat. Less than 3 weeks before i will know the result of war.All the effort and sacrifices,what will they be rewarded with?I'll realise in 3 weeks time.The final 'showdown'. 3 weeks. No more allies.Its a fight against those who are my friends.I might lose.But i won't give up.I fought for 2 years.And i would accept this defeat so easily. I hope I'll win, but if i lose,if i lose,Den i'll be defeated...
he closed his diary at {19:01}
Dear Diary...
Good Friday.
vendredi 21 mars 2008
Good Friday.
Its a public holiday.
Decided to spend it with Sm warren.
So we decided to train at Bishan Park.
We arrived at Bishan Park 2,
walked to a fitness corner,
and did a few pull ups on some very well polished bars.
When we saw a playground, we were very tempted to play too,
So we decided to get to the one at Bishan Park 1.
When we finally arrived we saw a pyramid,
made of metal poles and red ropes.
and u can climb here n dere..
like a monkey.
Again, we wanted to try, but it was crowded,
and we were too shy.
So we spent our morning walking and talking.
We finally arrived at the fitness corner at Bishan Park 1.
Did some exercise again.
Before playing on a see-saw,
a mini flying fox
and the swing. :)
How fun.
After 'torturing' Sm warren by making his ass hurt,
We went to have lunch at J8.
Shared a Big Gulp.
And had Duck Rice.
Before having some fun a the arcade.
Den the most dreaded time came.
When we all had to go home...:(
how sad.
here comes the pictures...
he closed his diary at {19:16}
Dear Diary...
Not all dreams come true
mercredi 19 mars 2008
But i didn't say that there ain't a silver lining in every cloud. Yes, my dreams are dashed, really,didn't get the post i want.However, i got something else,Maybe not better,but i was mentally prepared.First they announced the fake posts, they said i was CSMI believed a bit, yet was still a little suspicious,cos my BF (best Fren),did not get a post. The real posts were later announced,i got a Part A UDI.I didn't lie at the interview, so i really felt a little disappointed.But as i said at the interview,i picked the pieces of my heart up,and glued them back.Life as a NCO is going to start,I guess i am prepared,No, i am very prepared.
he closed his diary at {20:58}
Dear Diary...
Runnin.
lundi 17 mars 2008
6 or 7 out of 16. not bad eh?So sad, no medal.dam sad leh.Nvm, left knee injured still managed toown Yong Hwee and Benedict :DBut Hui Yang dam fast. Sian.Hui yang 3rd in level.Dammit.Now to elaborate on the run.Started at fitness corner's 300m mark.Did not manage to get in front.Big crowd, cos we were running wif sec 2s also.Then i chiong lor.First lap, still did not able to get into first lane, but managed to get in front a bitbut did not manage to go to 4th gearcos of my dang left knee.But still overtook Chew Hui Yang2nd lap, tio overtaken by chew hui yang.Maintained my position.Almost punctured alr.3rd and 4th lap nothing much liao la.Ya den with all the ppl i run i m 9th out of 20+ or is it 30+....den with sec 3s i am 6 or 7th placeno medal.so sad.Ok that's alltired.bb.outta here.gotta goadieu
he closed his diary at {17:59}
Dear Diary...
Good Deed
samedi 15 mars 2008
I did a good deed today. I pushed this guy on a wheelchair form the junction 8 MacDonald's toilet to the taxi stand. Praise me? Sian the wheelchair can't drift de... press brake also no use....(juz joking, but it really can't drift) Friday: Went to school for Physics lessons with Ms Angelin Wong and her other students. ya. Then, i did chem homework in school while waiting for SM. When he finally arrived i finished all the MCQs i was required to do from the TYS. Den we proceeded to train. went to fitness corner. Spam pull ups and inclined. haha SM deprove until can do 3 only...lol. I improved, now can do 4 1/2. A bit more den can get a gold for napfa le. When we were about to start running, Rain comes. Dammit, i dun even like his songs.OK den we decided to continue spamming pull ups indoors. Den we 'borrowed' 2 chairs from the store and we did erm.... i dunno how to name dat exercise but it is the exercise whr u face up, put ur hands on the chair n keep going up n down..ya. we did 3 sets of 3 repetitions of 15. Maybe we did 4 sets. i can't rmb but we did a lot till my shoulders ached so much today morning.Ya today. Went to check out my left leg again. The sinseh say the cartilage under the knee slip off agian so he adjust back. Den he 'massage' my leg. Dam pain. Finally, he finished my leg of with a nice topping of thick ermm...bandage. So tight. Den he advised me not to run for 3 weeks...3 WEEKS!!! SPORTS NIGHT HOW!!! i dunno. I see if i can get well den, but i dun think would Be able to run on friday...ok dat's allbye!
he closed his diary at {18:43}
Dear Diary...
1 more week
jeudi 13 mars 2008
Yes, just 1 more week before the posts will be released. Yes i feel the stress. The tingling in the nerves and stuff... Will my efforts pay off. Will my sacrifice reap some rewards? We will find out soon. Will it be tears of happiness or pure sorrow? Hope i get my chance to search for something yellow too....after all its my favourite colour....
he closed his diary at {18:24}
Dear Diary...
Relapse of PMS?
mercredi 12 mars 2008
Wei kit said i got relapse of PMS. Which means permanent mood swing. What to do? Nothing seems to be going well.Today was like very heartwrenching. Made me reflect on how pathetic i am. People like Wei Kit have frens all over the school. Then today, afte chinese remedial, i had no idea who to ask to go out for lunch with. My NCC land frens are at camp, lao ba at camp, daughter at camp, Wei Kit not higher chinese, i dun mix with the gamblers of NCC air, new found frens had cca. I was prepared for anotehr lonely day, luckily there was still Yu Cheng. Ever heard of someone who was out of frens?Well if u haven't, let this be the first...R u a fren?I thought I had many friends,but today i found out, how little frens i have.Also, i reflected. Now at 15, i have nothing to my name. People like Wei Xuan has a whole cupboard of medals and trophies. I only remember winnign a silver medal in a group event at a scouts meet, and winning a 20 dollar voucher from a drawing competition.So i have a talent?i don't know.Wei Kit has PDSBenedict has drawingYong Hwee has soccer.Hui Yang has running.Wei Xuan has (all kinds of) sports.What do i have?What activity would i turn to when i am most bored.What do i have to show off to others?Wei kit can show off his PDS moves,Benedict can show off his art,Yong Hwee can show of his soccer(kicks),Hui Yang can show off his speed,Wei Xuan can show off his accolades.I once though i finally got something to proudly call mine.But what happened?1 stray shot cost me my pride.1 stray shot cost my glory.What in the world can i be proud of?i don't know.
he closed his diary at {14:06}
Dear Diary...
Lonely....
mardi 11 mars 2008
Bye... Someone would be going off next year to Taiwan to further her studies. So erm good luck. There goes another friend...So lonely.So bored.There was lonely schooldayslonely/busy weekendslonely valentine'slonely birthdaylonely Christmasand all the other festive seasons u r supposed to spend with friends,i am alone.being scoldedbeing nagged atand asked to sleep at 9 o clock.no not askedi mean ordered.and demanded.Now i'll just be 1 fren less. Any left? Maybe not.
he closed his diary at {16:05}
Dear Diary...
Money.
samedi 1 mars 2008
It makes people turn against each other. They say it makes the world go round. The Chinese saying goes, 钱不是万能的，但没了钱万万不能. I dunno wat made my sudden 'hate' for money. These sheets of paper breaks relationships, friendships and make even the tallest walls fall. These sheets of paper deny people of foo, water, medicine. Dang, what is this world coming to. to think we are controlled by these, sheets of paper. I dun wanna get controlled by money.
he closed his diary at {10:25}
