A THOUSAND CROSSINGS X

Dear Diary...
there's always next year.
lundi 17 novembre 2008

Take today's defeat as trying something new.
I believed you guys tried your best. No one will blame all of you.

Good job Toh Hong, you did not disappoint Sir Goh. You prove yourself, and proved me wrong. Marksman.

I can't stomach losing. Damn. I dunno about the Part As, but Part Bs have lost to at least 2 schools. Springfield Secondary Girls. And for the other unit that thrashed us, while I was recording the scores, I could only chant 668355, and prepare for a bashing.

Insightful today. Saw the Pros shoot (not the cadets, pros as in real pros). Picked up a thing or 2 from them. Learnt how to shoot properly in a squat/kneel position, and learnt a new rifle grip. But i think I'd be sticking to wristlock on Wednesday. Old habits die hard.

I was waiting very anxiously for the Part As. Really praying for them to shoot well. I guess they did average... Those whom I pinned my hopes on did not perform the way they should. But i believe they tried their best. I believe their reasons about the lane, the lights, the rifle, cos I've been through it. But, remember, good shooters shoot well at all times. Michael Phelps had to swim 8 perfect races even on his most imperfect day. Same for us, if we'd want to win, perfection within imperfection. Conquer yourselves and not others. It's an insult when you compare not only to yourselves, but also others.

Defeating yourselves means finding out what exactly went wrong. Were you poor at unsupported? Did you snap the trigger. Did you forget to hold your breath? All these are preventable. If it isn't, then don't blame yourself. Even if you did forget these fundamentals, I understand the anxiety of competitions. Just don't do it again. Part As, you guys still have 2 chances. Part Bs, your last chance is next year, it's going to be tough. Part Cs, Wednesday is our last chance. I hope either Gabriel or I can deliver something to Sir Goh after these 3 years, and at least 3 thousand dollars spent on SAFRA shoots.

Winning this year has extreme importance to me. I've been shooting for 3 years now. I've conducted training for 2 years. But we've never won. This year, I tried all means to simulate the shoot at Nee Soon. Lights, weapon jam, lousy sandbags, pressure, foxhole (for Part Cs). I tried everything. So i thought we might have an edge in terms of experience. But, that did not really help... So, Wednesday, it has to be perfect. Gabriel, I'm counting on you! Even if we can't win as a team, an Individual Award should lift spirits.

Today was quite different luh. Was asked to record the scores for Lane 12-19 during the Part B shoot, therefore i've got so much information. I was waiting very impatiently and anxiously for Jacob's team to shoot. And so coincidentally, a certain school was shooting with my team. I had an odd feeling. Again, my instincts proved me right. My team's zero-ing was...not so desirable. Their team's shots were neatly stacked above each other. When it came to deliberate, same thing happened. Neatly stacked. A team of 5 Gabriels, godlike. (Although I think IA will kill that team.) But we still lost. No debate. We lost. Thrashed. No room for discussion. Thrashed.

But, if you guys had done your best, which i firmly believe so, there's always next year to make up for all that has happened today. I know of people who shoot well at SAFRA, but not as well at Nee Soon. I'm one of them. You too Jacob. I did full marks at SAFRA, inclusive with deliberate IAs. But still, couldn't shoot that way at Nee Soon. there are a lot of factors that controls your shooting. Some that can be controlled by you, some that you can't. Environment, fundamentals, rifle, sandbag, lights, LUCK, lane and many other factors control the way you are going to shoot. But, don't let them stop you. If others can do it, you can too. It means, it isn't impossible.

Today hasn't been the best of days. Very eventful. I think I really tried everything I could already. All kinds of simulations during SAFRA, I even went down for the competition today... (Previous batches no senior came down. Only Sir Goh was there for us). Made sure I gave them a last minute run through of fundamentals to give them that slight boost of confidence. This morning, Lei Jun almost late. Dam scary. Got the bus to Nee Soon. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Stupid shuttle bus so long. Walked the Sec 1s out. Was supposed to get a cab to Khatib MRT then rendezvous with the Part Bs. But time wasn't on our side. Dumped the Sec 1s at the Bus stop. Got a sandwich at 7-11 before heading back too Nee Soon. Called Jacob to make his way to the camp with his team by himself as soon as Toh Hong arrived. They kept me worrying when Toh Hong was uncontactable and they were running very late. (they were the second last detail to shoot. 1 hour late) Rained on my way into Khatib. Was a longer walk than the SBAB one. At least 2 times. Dam long. Raining somemore. Thank god i had my beret, at least my head was dry. But i froze in the room. Arrived at the briefing room. Bad news from Sir Goh. Part As total score 87. very. eventful. and i was dam wet. and dam cold. and dat was dam bad news. :( but..nevermind, can't do anything now.

And Part Cs, Wednesday, 0715h at Front Porch. Reserve, Donson please turn up. I've got the ear plugs, $1.70 each. Sir Goh said,"you guys can do better than 66 right? You all have to cover up for them today." Well, you heard the man. Its not the time to disappoint.

Does my teaching suck?

yongliang

Wednesday, perfection within imperfection.

he closed his diary at {17:50}