A THOUSAND CROSSINGS X

Dear Diary...
NDP Celebrations
vendredi 8 août 2008

There's no difference. Its the same every year. So it's not worth my time going through it all over again.

Went to AMK to pass K.O his stuff. So sad he got chicken pox :( scarred all over. I went through all that already :) wasn't all that bad really. haha. After that, took a bus down to AMK hub to meet up with RX and Wei Kit.

Decided to catch a movie, Money No Enough 3 by Jack Neo. RX went to q for the tix while Wei kit watched me have my lunch. lol. Our show starts at 3. With time in our hands. We decided to take a walk around. Let's just say we bumped into familiar faces... doubt they know me, but i know them...

After like erms..'emo-ing' for half an hour, went back to AMK hub to get into the cinema to watch the movie. And we bumped into those familiar faces again, outside fish & co. This time Wei Kit went to say hi. i was...outcast... :S as usual. never mind. I told you they wouldn't recognise me.

Yea so just stood at a corner. Wei Kit said i ruined my own chance? sorry la. just shy. or just being a coward...

Went on with the movie. No spoilers here. but the story was just dam touching la. Gosh, i wanna cry.. :(

Let's just say it has been a very thoughtful day (full of thoughts). Suddenly after the movie, thought of the people i love, my failures, my life, my experiences and my attempts for success in the various aspects of life.

On my way home as i ran, i was thinking of 2 things. I wanted to get home as soon as possible so i can say 6 words. The other thing was, i suddenly thought of new lyrics for the 'cold wind blows' NCC cheer that can actually relate to me...

In the early evening run,
with a very heavy heart,
with my wallet in my hand,
and my eyes are full of tears.

I'm a long long way from you,
and i miss *i dun tell u* so...
In the early evening run....

As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...

In the early evening run,
with many thoughts in my head,
with the aching in my heart,
and my memories were flashing fast...

I'm a few more steps from home,
and i miss the warmth so...
In the early morning run...

As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...
As the cold wind blows...

More or less like that la.

Suddenly over dinner, i thought of my results this term. Although there might be people who work harder than me, i know very well that i have put in my best and more effort than in previous terms. However, failure never seems to leave me. I suddenly feel tight in my chest. When i have put in so much effort, and wish that practice makes perfect.... i failed, making myself even more disappointed than before. tears welled up, i was staring down at my rice, so no one could see the pain i felt.

I have put in my best, i did what i could, but still, i can't do it.

To someone, i have no idea what i have done, so i do not know why are you avoiding me...

When practice does not make perfect, even the happiest person will feel down - yongliang

when tears fail their purpose-
yongliang

he closed his diary at {20:23}