A THOUSAND CROSSINGS X

Dear Diary...
Process VS Result
lundi 16 juin 2008

I guess many of us were told that process is more important than result ever since we were young. I am constantly reminded by my Unit's CO that process is more important than result whenever we fail to clinch any award during any competition. But in reality, is process really more important than result?

Let us look at some important occassions that depend more on your results, than your process.

Do you still remember the day you collected your PSLE results, and then tried choosing your secondary school. So, did you choose the school according to your results or your supposed good process? Of course, you had to choose your school according to your results. Do they looks at how hard u have studied and how much effort you have put in? No of course not, people assume that results are obtained through good process. Then what exactly is good process?

They say, as long as you put in your best, work hard and put in effort, that's good process and you will deliver results. Oh really? Who says good process delivers good results? Not all the time, i would argue. Expectant mothers take extremely good care of themselves and the lives within them, however miscarriages still happen, no matter how young and healthy that mother is, no matter how good the care has been given to them. Babies are born stillborn. So what in the world is good process? And that supposed good process delivers this kind of results?

A scolding from my Chemistry teacher stil haunts me. I still remember that event clearly. Till this date, i feel that i have been scolded, for trying my best. I wouldn't dare say nor think i am the brightest of all students, neither would i dare say i put in the msot effort among all. However, i know i put in a decent amount of effort in everything i do, if not i put in all my effort. So what if i only managed to do complete 6 MCQs during 50 minutes? i really did put in my effort. I flipped the pages of my chemistry textbook. I refered to it as if it was a bible. That was my process. I flipped through notes, flipped through textbooks racked my brains, to answer those questions. My result? A scolding by my chemistry teacher.

That day i did the 6 MCQs, the teacher was absent. The day she resumed her lessons. She asked who has not completed their Chemistry worksheets. Unlike some who did not stand up even though they didn ot complete their worksheet, i stood up. She asked me 2 questions. Why i did not finish my worksheet. I answered, i managed to do only 6 MCQs. Then she asked what have i been doing during that 50 minutes, i couldn't have just did 6 MCQs in that much time. But all i could say was, i really did. There were people to prove it. But none of them said a word. For most of them, squandered that 50 minutes away, while i struggled, and only managed 6 questions.

Some sang songs during that 50 minutes. Some played mobile games. Others slept it away. While i, with a pen, chemistry testbook and worksheet in hand, did my work. And for that, i got a scolding, and was kicked out of class. Those who sang songs, played mobile games and slept during that 50 minutes, conveniently said that they did not recieve the worksheet, and thus were spared. The rest who were in the class were those who managed to complete most of it, or at least, all 10 MCQs.

Those moments outside the class, i felt sourness within me. I felt injustice, but what was i to do? I really did not complete all 10 MCQs, i was really that stupid, i did not deliver results. So what if i had a process? No one cared.

However much now i feel that it is obvious that Results are more important than Process, i can't help telling myself that i must have a good process to attain good results. For i had put in so much effort in that process only to attain so little results, if i were to slack anymore in my process, my results will suffer.

My mum said, in life you have to do what people can see. When no one's looking, what's the use of doing so much? Well, i can't help it. That's my personality. According to my DISC profiling, i am supposed to be a very meticulous person who pays a lot of attention on detail than the final result/big picture. For example, if i were to go to a gym, i would not train to get bulging biceps or wakeboard abs, but i would train all my muscles evenly and well to keep healthy. To a person like me Process, is more important.

Yet sadly, this society is one that is Result-oriented. No one would look at my process. Results are what this world lives for. Process would never be more important than results for, it can never reap in more money that results. Results gives you a good job, gives you good money, what does process give you? Nothing.

But still i insist on the word...process.

I rest my case. No matter how much this world proves to me that results is more important that process, i will still make sure my process is good.

Sir Albert Einstein once said :"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." To me, i want to be a great spirit, and the world is nothing to me but a place which houses mediocre minds.

The day i stopped reading, the day i stopped dreaming, the day i stopped living. - yongliang

Process
yongliang

he closed his diary at {20:14}